Introduction of my Blog Posts

Background - why am I writing this?

Until end-May 2020, for about 2 years and a half, I had been working at a workplace where business-level English conversation skill is necessary. Then at early Jun 2020, I got a diagnosis that I am "depression" and it was necessary for me to leave the workplace. It has been more than a month since I no longer got "forced" to speak English to communicate with others - which I think is causing a serious downgrade of my English skill as a whole.

Though I cannot train myself to improve conversational skills, I think I can utilize my recent blog-posting activities to write English at least. Therefore, let me briefly introduce some of my frequently-accessed posts to the readers, only in English, as a practice.

Please kindly read this article and if you find any problematic English within it, would appreciate if you could point it out by adding comments to this post.


Introduction of my Blog Posts

Post1 - "An Essay about my own Self-Support Study"

These days, more and more attention is paid to "Self-Support Study" by philosophy, psychotherapy, anthropology, etc. This area of study is characteristic in that people who have certain problems study and write/ publish reports about "themselves". This is a revolutionary way in all phenomenological studies, because it empowers the people to speak out their own new text, which ordinary scientific knowledge often prohibited them from doing so.

However, can a person who apparently has no problem, start Self-Support as well, with same quality as those with problems? This article is a kind of experiment of my own Self-Support Study, investigating into me, who only got the diagnostic name of "depression" for political purposes. Can I, full of cunning, succeed in conducting Self-Support Study?


Post2 - "I am Lacking Competence - that is why I am NOT Loved by Others"

This is an essay of my own past life, a kind of self-narrative. I did not read any books nor rely on any method of investigation to write this article. But I desperately needed to describe my own experience which formed the whole personality of myself, as soon as possible through this Blog space.

I strictly tied my own life to the dogma, "The reason why others don't love me lies in my INCOMPETENCE" - which is clearly unreasonable. But this "nonsense" policy is only one which I can rely on to form my subjectivity. Otherwise, I will be dissolved into parts, cannot unite the soul of myself as single. This article explores my technique of self-love which shows complex processes and a severe feeling of self-torment.


Post3 - "Incomplete Self-Destruction - The Potential Positivity Hidden in Negativity"

Kristeva's well-known concept of "abject" and "abjection" had significant impact on semiology, psychoanalysis, literature and culture critique. One of the biggest "successor" of these concepts is Queer theory, especially by its "Queer Negativity" supporters. Connecting self-destructive "death drive" with potential power to challenge existing symbolic order, Queer Negativity theorists looked for ways to celebrate the sexual minority's identity as "negative" one, which has a huge significance and potentiality in political contexts.

Queer Negativity, however, met a limitation and was accused of "mobilizing" various forms of queer subjectivity into single/ simple one, to be equipped with political power. This article looks for how "incomplete" way of self-destruction in abject experiences can answer such criticizm, referring to a recent queer film study.


Post4 - "Celebrating the self which is being gently divided - a critique for Sociology of Self-Narrative"

This article is an introduction of a booked named "Sociology of Self-Narrative". There are various ways of self-narrative in our daily lives to which more and more academic attention is paid recently. This book looks into academic attempts to utilize self-narrative such as "Life-history Study" or "Self-Support Study" to open-up a new landscape for sociological/ philosophical landscape.

I first was suspicious of effectiveness of utilizing self-narrative for academic objective, because of the risk of making the speaker's self homogeneous and conform to existing norms. But when we look into this book in detail, we will find various techniques to avoid such simplification. Rather, these attempts are struggling to capture and interpret various nuances of self-narrative, to make the speaker's voice more textile, polyphonic and polysemous. In this respect, I assume we can expect textuality of the future landscape created by diving into self-narrative's potentiality.


Post5 – “I consist only of Good-bye – Detail reading of Julia Kristeva’s text ‘THE ABJECTION OF SELF’”

This series of articles has a little more academic interest than the 4 ones listed above. I am quite interested in the concept of self-negation, whose extreme form is represented in Julia Kristeva’s “abjection” concept.

I briefly introduce existing understandings of concept of “abject” as logically separated from the self, although it is experienced as an ambiguous “thing” which can neither be subject nor object. According to these understandings we always confront such “abject” and conduct abjection (=separation from the self) against it, to keep our own subjectivities consolidated under symbolic order.

But there is a “strange” paragraph named “THE ABJECTION OF SELF”, in her book “Power of Horror” (1980). This article explores how Kristeva jumps in that paragraph from concept of “abject” to the notion by subjectivity that “I am the abject”, which turns self-defensive act of abjection into the reversed act – abjection as self-negation, through the detail reading of the target paragraph, relying on Jack Lacan's psychoanalitic framework.